Filed under: Dealing, Training Runs | Tags: fight, half marathon, healing, long run, races, running, struggle
Ok, it’s Tuesday. Things are not quite going the way I’d like. I planned a ten-miler for yesterday, but it didn’t happen. This morning I set out, but turned around early, managing a scant nine. I was late; the extra mile wasn’t worth my job.
It was a horrible run, honestly. I can surely attribute it to lack of sleep. I’ve been in Boston three weeks, and I still don’t have my things. Last night I simply couldn’t sleep. I’ve been taking a lot of it in stride; I’m even ok with just leaving all of it, pretending there was a fire. An ending, a clean slate, I can accept. But to have this linger on and on, to have them harass me for money, to have to find a lawyer I can afford…it’s a nightmare.
So I woke up this morning, already behind schedule with my running, and decided that I would do it no matter how tired I was. So I went. It was murder. I didn’t hit my stride even once; the entire nine miles was a struggle to keep going. I got lost once and I walked a number of times, though I didn’t walk far. I was angry with myself for walking, because it wasted time I could have used for the tenth mile. My ankles hurt, my breath wasn’t working, and my body, instead of flowing and working together, felt like a badly put-together Lego robot. My feet felt like lead on the hills. I couldn’t relax.
I hope things go better on Thursday. I’m thinking of going to a track and doing my own speed workouts. Perhaps they’ll at least make me stronger. I want to set a PR for the Half in October.
On the other hand….when you’re struggling that hard to get your body to do what you want it to, you tend to forget some of the other stuff for a little while. Perhaps I should be thankful for that.
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Dude, don’t beat yourself up. You ran 9 miles! That’s awesome.
Comment by Kate September 16, 2009 @ 1:18 pmI’m so sorry about the movers — how unbelievably frustrating! And yes, doing one fewer mile won’t affect your training at all. I’m sure your new coworkers would agree.
Comment by Mandy September 17, 2009 @ 10:18 pmI know just what you mean. I thought about ‘him’ today during my run and tried to fuel my little forty minute run with the frustration that carried me through the first couple months of learning to be a runner. It didn’t work. I was heavy and slow and don’t know how I even got back home. Maybe it will be better tomorrow.
Thank you for this blog. It is really helpful.
Comment by Lola September 20, 2010 @ 11:22 am