Filed under: Dealing, Inspiration, Rest Days, The Race | Tags: days off, healing, marathon, running, struggle
I haven’t done any running. It was a relief for a while, and I’m still enjoying the time off, though I think it’s time to get back out there. I saw a few runners going along the Charles yesterday, and I felt a little itch.
Besides, I’ve officially signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon. It’s seven months away.
I guess it’s time to attack The Question, though. I started this blog a little over nine months ago, when I could barely see myself each day for the sadness and brokenness in my heart. The marathon was a goal, something to strive for, a path through the valley. Something that would make me strong. A goal to help me find me again.
I’m afraid to write this. Deep breath – type. Have I healed?
You can’t know this, but I just sat here for a few minutes, trying to decide what to type and how to type it. Because, you know, I would love to write a resounding, beautiful, uplifting paragraph, something that will raise up my readers in a shout of congratulatory glee, a big, loud, shining YES!
But I must give you the honesty you deserve, as loyal readers and friends who have followed my journey. The answer is no – at least, not entirely.
Hear me out, though. Let me tell you what training for a marathon does. Let me tell you about discovering the strength within myself and, even more importantly, the strength beyond myself. Let me tell you about a new steel and softness that I feel within me. It is as if my path to the marathon were lined with fruit trees, and as I ran I picked their fruit and tasted their fresh newness. Joy, strength, courage. Yes, I have courage now, and I do not think it wrong to assert this.
I still have battles to fight. I still have walls to break down. The journey to healing is not over. But now – now I have the tools I need. So in a sense, I suppose I am healed: I’m my own person again, and I think I always was; running just helped me discover that. But I’m a stronger person now. I’m more at peace with the present now. I know I have what it takes to keep going. I’m a marathoner.
What Now?
I have seven months to train for the Philadelphia Marathon, and this time I’ll have people to train with. My friends S and A will be making Philly their first marathon, and I’m very excited to “mentor” them. The real training won’t begin until late July, so there will be time for them to build their base mileage – and time for me to relax a little! I’ll still be running, but I’ll just be concentrating on maintaining my own base. I might do a couple of small races. There’s a nice little series along the Charles River this summer, mostly five-milers. Perhaps I can even get a little faster!
I was planning on closing this blog after the Marathon was complete, but so many people have been reading it that I may keep it open. Besides, I have had a little idea brewing for the past week. I’ve been thinking of starting a small, informal running club. Not everyone who goes through heartbreak has as strong a support group as I; perhaps I can provide it for them. It’s just a wisp of an idea, and nothing may come of it. But check back here every once in a while. Especially if you live in Boston.
It grows late, though. I have a lot to do tonight, especially since I’m getting up early tomorrow. I’m going running with J, just a little three-miler, slow and leisurely, before breakfast. I can’t wait to feel the road under my feet again, hear the quiet padding of my sneakers on the pavement, feel the soft spring breeze, like a sigh, against my cheeks.
Filed under: The Race, Training Runs | Tags: days off, dreams, gu, long run, marathon, nerves, Rest Days, running, shoes, short run, Taper
I purchased new shorts and a lovely blue lightweight tech shirt for the race. I tried the shorts out on my last “long” run – eight miles – and, disappointingly, they rode up a little. Most shorts do that when I run, but with a predicted temperature of seventy-three degrees (most runners dress for temperatures twenty degrees warmer than the actual, so do the math on that one), I’m going to go with my capris. I don’t want to be picking cloth away from myself for nearly five hours.
My Asics should be broken in enough. I was thinking of using my Guides, but I’ve done my last three weeks of running in these shoes, so Asics it will be.
I’m having anxiety dreams: I fly to the wrong city. I wake up too late. I get injured at the start of the course. I’ve forgotten my running sneakers.
Lists are beginning to form in my mind: Gu packets. Shoes and clothes. Body glide. Ibuprofen. Socks. Ponytail holders. Headband. (I can’t find my stupid headband!) Course map for friends and family. Watch. Sunblock. Camera.
There are other things I can’t control that I must make myself stop worrying about. Weather’s a big one. I haven’t run in hot weather at all. Worse than that, though, is the idea of a race cancellation. The ten-day weather forecast predicts scattered thundershowers all weekend. I’ve seen those Midwestern storms, and I’ve seen that lightning. It’s out of my hands, I know, but please, please let there be decent weather. I don’t know what I would do if these nine months were all for nothing.
I’ve gotten myself worked up, though, so it’s time to calm down. That’s what the Taper is for: recovery, relaxation, mental preparation. You hardly run, you eat a lot, you try not to obsess.
Six days.
Filed under: cross-training, Inspiration | Tags: days off, Inspiration, running, short run, swimming
My aunt is probably the best swimmer I know. I may be training for a marathon, but my aunt has been getting up at 3 AM practically everyday for the majority of her adult life so she can swim five miles – I think that’s what my uncle said, five miles – before work. This isn’t something to sneeze at, folks, as I found out today.
I’ve always been a very strong swimmer, myself, but it’s been years since I’ve purposely gone to a pool and done laps. Let me tell you: I cross-train on the stationary bike at a steady 80-100 RPM for a full forty-five minutes at least 3 days a week, and that first half-lap in the pool schooled me! I began to get the hang of it after a while, alternating freestyle with breast stroke and backstroke for about a half an hour. The better my form in the pool, the easier it was to get through it.
I may not have run today, but I feel really good. I’m going to try to swim as often as possible between now and the race. I have a VERY short run tomorrow – just three miles – and I might jump in the pool after finishing, if I have the time. I’m quite excited about this new development. I just hope I don’t develop huge shoulders!
Filed under: Rest Days | Tags: apparel, days off, good advice, injuries, long run, nerves, Rest Days, running, winter
URD stands for Unscheduled Rest Day, which is what today is. While most of the aches and pains from the 17-miler quickly dissipated, my heel flared up in a fury and did not cease hurting until today. I took it easy this week, though I did do the scheduled track intervals on Wednesday. I cross-trained hard on Tuesday and Friday, did an easy 6.5-miler on the treadmill on Thursday, and took yesterday as my scheduled rest day. This morning, my heel felt blessedly fine, and it still feels fine even after a full work day. The plan was to run for about two and a half hours tonight, not watching the miles, just getting in the time at an easy pace. It was Mandy’s suggestion, and I think it was a good one.
I actually feel really good about taking off today, though. I’ve been pushing myself extremely hard, and to be honest, I’ve been quite frightened this week that I overdid it already. Today is the first day I’ve felt good and rested in quite a while, so I’m going to take advantage of that, catch up on a few chores, and wake up fresh tomorrow.
I also bit the bullet and bought a running jacket. With the weather in the single digits, even two base layers and a pullover aren’t cutting it. It kinda hurt my wallet, but at least I’ll have no excuse to press the snooze button tomorrow morning.
Filed under: Dealing, Rest Days, Training Runs | Tags: days off, off day, Rest Days, running, sick
…I’ll go for more than a month without getting sick or injured. Sadly, I was struck down with my annual Fall head cold shortly after my hilly jaunt in DC. It took all of my energy just to play my instrument, and running was out of the question. I was woozy, sniffly, drippy, coughy…really, just a big pile of Gross.
I’m visiting my parents between performances, and I’m finally feeling up to running again. Woke up at 11 AM, ate a big bowl of oatmeal with milk, and am looking forward to running four or five miles before the day is out. Here’s hoping it goes well.
